*Email responses that don't include the original text - If you reply "yes" 5 days later, might you remind me what the hell I asked you in the first place?
*Socks with sandals - Never acceptable. EVER.
*Back handed compliments - "Hallie..you look GREAT for your age!" Well gee, shmuck...you don't.
*People who honk at you the INSTANT the light turns green - Did the nanosecond it took me to move really cause you that much distress? Shmuck.*Not putting the new roll of toilet paper on the holder - If you have the manual dexterity to wipe your butt, I'm pretty sure you can manage to secure the roll.
*The word "dude" used by ANYONE over the age of 15 - And even then, it still bugs me.
*Drinking directly out of a milk container - Milk is gross enough without your added backwash.
*Chewing with your mouth open - "Dude, I don't want to hear you smack your gums when you eat." (this one upsets me so much that I actually said "dude.")
*Asking a lengthy question in the last 2 minutes of a LONG meeting - These people should be tarred and feathered. Publicly. In the company parking garage.
*Not turning right on red - Unless it's posted otherwise, F-ING TURN!!!!!!!!
*Double dipping - I didn't like it when George Costanza did it, and I won't like it if you do it. Keep your nasty, germ laden chip OUT OF THE DIP!
*Close talkers - Unless you're about to stick your tongue down my throat or tell me the meaning of life, back the F-up!
*Grocery carts that have one squeaky wheel - Totally funny when it happens to someone else. Totally NOT funny when it happens to me.
*People reading over my shoulder - It's times like these that I wish I suffered from a severe "whip my entire body backwards causing me to smash into you and break your nose" tic. Bet you wouldn't read over my shoulder twice!
*People who pronounce the word ACROSS with a "t" at the end - This may just be a Maine thing - the word is NOT freakin' acrosst!!!!!
*Hair in my mouth - Yours, mine or ours...I just don't like it. At all.
*Turn signals left on...and on...and on....and on - Hasn't your turn long since come and gone?
*Unflushed toilets - I don't want to look at my OWN. Why the hell would I want to see yours?
*People who LIKE Chicken Cordon Bleu - Don't you notice how it looks exactly like a pus filled blister? PUS. FILLED. BLISTER. Yummy!
*Word verification when trying to leave a comment on a blog - HATE IT. HATE IT. HATE IT. Why the hell should I have to decode ancient hieroglyphics to say howdy?
*Blog lurkers - Just kidding!! But it would be nice if y'all said hi! I'm really quite nice. (a little odd, but nice!)
63 comments:
Well...Good Morning? BWAHAHAHA! I was going to call you last night; maybe it's good I didn't? I'm thinking you were faced with several of your pet peeves yesterday? And, dude, I'm with ya on every last one of them, plus I have a whole bunch more to add. Which I might just do one of these times, although I don't know if I could make them sound as funny as you have managed to do. I really hate it when people don't use their signals; REALLY.HATE.IT. And then turn the damn thing off. There, that's my two-cents-worth. For now. Do me a favor and send a good thought or two around 2:15 my time today, okay? Why on earth do I feel so nauseated over the thought of this. I can't even remember the last time I felt this nervous over something relatively stupid. EEK...
Have a good day, Hallisicle...
I am about to puke after reading your description of what you think chicken cordon bleu looks like!oh, Hallister!! :)
I have many of these pet peeves myself, girl. driving stuff are my biggest. when the sign says, "keep moving" and the idiot in front of me is at a dead stop!! ugh. i lay on that horn and cuss like a dadgum sailor.
anyways, i also hate lateness. one of my biggest peeves. i am 10 minutes early to wherever i need to go.
have a great day, hallister!
ROFL..I agree with every single one of them! Also, with Kim, this would be a good post if I could come up with your hillarious lines.
Yesterday in traffic, I took a deep breath in for F*** and let it out on YOU! Damn friggin tail gaters!
Can't stand gum crackers. That pop and crackle will drive me to kill.
Don't go to my blog today...Hallie, I love ya!
Hi.
Dude, I think I could have written this post! he he he
Chewing with your mouth open.....WTF! I can't stand it. Talking to me ON THE PHONE WITH FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH.......I will call you back! And the beeping the second the light goes green.......SERIOUSLY, WTF!!
I might just have to do my own post about this today. Thanks for the idea :)
I'll take your peeves and raise you 4 more:
1. When the light turns green, GO. My 2 common replies(just ask anyone who rides with me) are, "It says GO, not GROW!" and "What shade of green are you waiting on?'
2. Screaming across a room, a store, a park(that's a fresh one from last night) to get someone's attention in a NONEMERGENCY situation. This 14 year old at the park was on the slide in the play area screaming for Ashley. "Ashley! Ashhhhhleeeeee!" Then when 5 rounds of that didn't work, she looked at her friend and said, "Help me scream for Ashley!" Then two screamers for Ashley. Carter was holding his ears and my bp was nearing the top. Her friend looked at her and said, "Why don't you just run over and get Ashley?" She said(wait for it), "Cause I'm tired." That makes 3 of us babe...Carter and I are very tired of your yodeling and you're REALLY lucky I didn't tell you about it!
3. People in a check out line at a store who have already put their groceries on the conveyor belt, stand there and observe life and chant and then when they are given the total, they look like they've seen the face of God and then proceed to dig through their suitcase sized purse for payment. I guess they thought it was Freebee Day at the store. I have had to wait some 10+ MINUTES for them to pay for their stuff. And then there are those who after 10 minutes decide a)they forgot their checkbook or left their card at home, or b)oops, didn't bring enough cash with them.
4. Going through the drive through at a fast food joint only to have the car in front of you NOT HAVE A CLUE WHAT THEY WANT BEFORE THEY GET THEIR ORDER TAKEN and then have umpteen kids/people in the car and have to query them for their orders. And when Billy says his order after Johnny says his order then Billy wants what Johnny got and Johnny decides to change his order totally. Then, I know, let's call our neighbor and see if she wants lunch so we have to converse on our cell and order their lunch and that of their kids.
O.K. Hallie, I really did like chicken cordon bleu until about 30 seconds ago. I will never be able to eat it again!
I was laughing so hard because your list and mine are similar. I would have to add that when people add an "s" to the word Wal-mart when it is not needed. Like, "I have to run to the Wal-marts to buy some food". Well, and also when they add an "r" to idea. No, you don't have an idear, it is an idea people. O.K. maybe a southern thing.
Have a great day!
Later dude,
The Park Wife
((Hallie)) I added something :)
Good morning:
I'm with you on the honking at green lights.
If you'll excuse me a moment, I need to adjust my blog settings...
"David, you look amazing, considering the hell you have been through"
LOL
love this post... I am with you an it and have some of my own too...I can't stand when someone has the bass/radio in their car booming, I actually prefer my own radio cd's and volume button too and I really prefer my music choices to theirs!
it will send me into a cursing fit then martha will laugh and say they can't hear you... which is of course true but i do hope they can read my lips :D
Love ya
Laura
A. Men.
Hallister, dudette, totally agree on ALL of those. Ones that bug me? it may be a southern thing but OMG it drives me crazy. First, I am from Illinois, but the s is NOT pronounced in the name. I'm from Ill- A- NOY, not ILL-A_ NOISE. Now that I live in Texas, I will occasionally do the laundry, but do I think ya'll do the WARSH? yes an R is added to WASH.
AAARRRGGGHHH
and anohter thing, have people there, mainly kids started AXING a question instead of ASKING a question, that soooo gets on my last nerve it ain't funny, or mummbling to where you can't understand a d**m thing when they AX you a question?
Ok, I'm done for now... really I am. Have a great day Hal!
I think I suffer from all of your peeves. I have a few of my own, most are driving related. Mainly because people in the Milwaukee area don't know how to drive. Mainly it's peeves with people from the suburbs who come downtown, and then act like deer in the headlights... "oh my god, tall buildings, many cars, traffic signals... whatever shall I do??"
There are a number of no left turn signs downtown (where I work). I hate getting stuck behind someone who doesn't see this sign, and attempts to make a left turn onto a major thoroughfare in rush hour traffic.
Another pet peeve is people who talk loudly on their cell phones in the mall, grocery store, office, sidewalk, etc. especially when it's an inappropriate converstaion.
As much as it annoys me, I am guilty of saying "dude" here and there. I think part the reason it curses my vocabulary is because of the people with boy parts running around my house all the time. Everything is dude this and dude that.
Do you really hate people who like chicken cordon bleu, or just chicken cordon bleu. I've never had it, so I hope I'm safe either way (even if I do have word verification because wow, without it, I got a lot of interesting junk mail!)
Good morning Hallie, glad is it Monday again or what? ;-)
I agree with your peeves...top of my list is a screaming, crying kid in a restaurant. I can't stand it...the parent(s) leave with the kid.
OK - I'm out of the closet as a lurker. Enjoy your blog - hysterical!!!
umm..i'm a lurker...u make me laugh and after the month i've had i need it so i will contuine to lurk...thankx for the laughs
These were hysterical!! I have run into my share of close-talkers - a few lately - there's nothing more awkward and weird - don't they realize they are IN YOUR SPACE?! Funny list - I loved this, Hallie. Have a good day - Kellan
I agree with most of your pet peeves, but Dude, I live in California, where everyone is Dude. Another pet peeve of mine: People who are driving more than 10 MPH in a parking lot and then speed up, so that you can't cross the road to get to your car. I mean, am I holding you up that long while I cross? Where's the courtesy people? I stop for all crossers, thank you very much!
Hallie!!
You really got to put a warning on these pet peeves...I about ruined my computer this morning, I loved it and I will give you an "AMEN SISTER!!!!" on them all!
The Queen.
Okay, now that I've taken the word verification thingie off my blog settings, I'll share:
People using hand-held phones while driving.
Women who own SUVs but don't know how to handle their size. (Do you really need five back-and-forth passes to get out of a parking space? UGH!)
My daughter's genetic inability to pick up after herself EVER. The kid leaves a constant mess in her wake, and I am forever chasing her back to her last location to put something away or throw something out.
I SO agree on the unflushed toilet, and my daughter is a chronic offender here as well.
Blue food. If it isn't a blueberry, a poppy seed, or a corn chip, it SHOULD NOT be blue!!!
I hate being sold skunked coffee. You know, poured from that pot that sat on a burner for an hour or more. Woudl it kill you to make a fresh pot? Coffee is one of the cheapest beverages in the world.
Cars with so much junk hanging from the rear-view mirror that it obstructs half the view from the windshield. How can you see around all that?
Socks with sandals - Don't move to Florida.
Hallie, you look great in that turtle neck. You should wear them more often. They hide your double chin.
Turn Signals - Again, don't move to Florida.
Word verification - I would boycott some blogs because of this but I enjoy them too much. I keep hoping that one day it will be gone. Thanks for bringing that to everyones attention.
Hi! Love you and your wieners!
I...
CAN'T......
STOP......
F-ING..............
LAUGHING!!!!!!!
Hallie, you kill me, you really do!!
Thanks for the laugh. After that whole freaky frog thing yesterday, I so needed a laugh..and a Starbucks and some twitching medication and a reason to get out of my safe, secluded bedroom. :0)
You rock!
Kim
Sorry if this shows up twice. I got an error message and then a 'your comment saved message' but no comment below.
What...?
You left comments for me way before I figured out that I could and how to turn off my word verification. You're awesome!
Oh man chewing with the mouth open drives me NUTS!!!!! My boyfriend does it and OMG it drives me crazy! I mean he's 35 (today) and he still can't eat like a grown up? What the hell?????
Anyway I digress... Have a great day Hallie!
This is too funny! I will admit that I use "dude," but I'm ashamed of myself and I cringe every time it happens. :)
So funny...totally agree with all of them (except, I have been known to eat Chicken Cordon Bleu and I do drop an occasional Dude living here in Southern Cali.)
My major peeve of the moment - It's "couldn't care less" not "could care less". If you can still care less, then that means you still care!!
Thanks for the comment on my blog. Yep. Wasabi is a Shiba Inu, a.k.a. Furball From Hell.
I just realized that I used the word dude in that post. Sigh. There's no hope for me.
OMG I agree with ALL of these!!!!!
I have pet peeves too:
1) The crusty stuff on the ketchup bottle.
2) The lids being off of the peanut butter...or anything!
3) My hubby copping a feel at really inopportune times.
4) My hubby not copping a feel, "what, am I gross?" I'm fickle.
5) Someone eating the leftovers that I waited all day to eat.
6) People telling you that you are not good enough for them. Sigh.
7) Thinking of the perfect comeback too late.
8) Sticky stuff getting spilled on a freshly mopped floor.
Dude, The Maid
Good list.
Clearly a popular post GIRL!
I just checked back and read the 30 comments I missed.
Maybe you should do this as a regular feature.
We could all join in.
This is too good to do once only!
I totally admit to using the word dude, but it is only with my children and usually when I look at the disaster areas they like to call their bedrooms.
Can I add some? People who say nuke-u-lar. It has bothered me since I was in elementary school, but I find it especially grating now. Hmmm ... I wonder why.
And mabunny? I am totally with you on the "axing" to do something. Makes my skin crawl.
I also hate slurpers. If your soup or beverage is too hot, then blow on it, or wait 2 minutes before you throw it down your gullet. I do NOT need to hear slurping. It is disgusting!
LOL.... feel better now that you got that out of your system? Most of those I agree with.
I will never ever be able to eat Chicken Cordon Bleu again.
EVER.
Okay I keep thinking of chicken cordeon bleu. I feel nauseous.
And I hate the non toilet paper roll putter uppers! That pisses the freaking crap out of me! it takes ONE second people!
Hallie! Are you having a BAD PMS kind of day!! I loved it though! I havent seen you on AF Mom's and Dad's in like forever. I finally posted to my blog today and am catching up on everyone elses. How is John and CJ and Connor? Hope your day gets better!
~breathe~
Kim (IN)
HOLY CRAP, Have I always had the word verification on my blog? Why didn't you tell me. I hate that!!
Gee, sweetie, your hair looks really cute...except in the back.
ever hear that one?? Holy Hell, like I can see the back of my head! Yeah, I love those back-handed compliments. Great list Hallie, I guess I should reconsider the "hieroglyphics." Oh, and the displaced anger and particularly the chicken.
Thanks for the great laugh!
jj
you and I think a lot alike Hallie!! I cant say that I have ever made a list but lots of mine are on your list.
"Acrosst" must be a Maine thing, we dont say that in Colorado...
as for "dude", I am guilty but I am usually talking to drunks when I use it and they are usually in a predicament that makes me laugh.
you should challenge all of the bloggers to post a "my pet peeve" list and see how they differ..
BTW I have NEVER eaten chicken cordon bleu, I think it looks disgusting.
Hallie, I love your blog. Esp today. I too HATE Chicken Cordon Blues. The fluidy stuff reminds me of amniotic fluid. (used to work on the OB floor) uughhh!!! I do agree with the rest of your pet peeves. Frankly, if you would have just written "stupid people", that would have covered it for me. I am training a new employee, who called me DUDE on her first day...didn't go over so well. However, was nothing compared to the bleching she did through out
the day. :)
Have a great day. from one weiner (dog) lover to the next....
Rita
Oh, this so made my day! TY for posting it. I'm seriously tempted to do a similar post tonite.
I gotta admit, I love chicken cordon bleu. I think you're thinking of the Barber foods ones, which are overfilled with that oozy cheese crap. Real chicken cordon bleu doesn't look like that crap.
And I'll confess, I thought the word verification was turned off on my blog, and apparently it wasn't. Now I doubly appreciate your comments, knowing you had to deal with that.
Have a great evening!
My brother calls my Mom dude... He's 39..
I agree with all your Pet peeves
I agree with everything except the 'dude' thing. I like to use it, by itself, to convey lots of different things.
I love this! So people really say "acrossT?!?!?" I wonder if they also say aksed for asked!!! That one drives me nuts!
Hi. Please don't call me a lurker...it hurts my tender wittle feewings. :-)
I love that anger one - HA! BTW - thanks for your support tonight. You are and have always been a good friend. SEe you later - Kellan
It wasn't until after I got married that I speak "Maine" and said acrosst and I grew up in California. I now speak much better. I'm over 15 and I use Dude way too much. Sorry.
I have really enjoyed lurking, although I never considered it lurking. I was just enjoying your playlist and a excellent blog.
Wade
You DO NOT suck! You haave other redeeming qualities that I wish I had, so we're even okay?
By the way..You ROCK!
Pet Peeve #462: Leaving crumbs or bits of other types of food in the butter or mayonaisse.
Oh! Oh!...#463: People who call it man-aise. It's may-on-aisse.
Crap. Now you got me started!!!
Isthere a security thingy on my blog? I dunno.....
To quote Chairman Graham Parker: Socks and sandals ain't rock 'n- roll.
Email responses?? Yea, I hate that, too! I have enough to send and read and if I don't know what I said to you..
but yea, most of your other's too!
See, we ARE soul mates! LOL
BRILLIANT! I'm with you on the word verification, the turn signal, AND the cordon bleu.
It's crazy how we all love to share our pet peeves :-) I won't share all of mine, but I do agree with a number of yours. My big one (it's gross so be forewarned): saliva/spit up from children. My sister knows this, and I was holding her son one time after she nursed him, and he had the worst spit up I've ever seen. It ran all down my leg, onto my sandal and foot, onto the floor. She sad she was sorry, but that at least it was "mostly milk" and not spit. I couldn't actually believe she thought saliva was worse than sour milk!
Acrosst! HATE IT! Do I have word verification on? Sorry if I do!
Dude!!! My husbands family uses that word ALL THE TIME!! I am used to it now.
I have too many pet peeves to write them all down, but I agree with most of yours.
ROFLMAO...
Great post, Hallie... can't deal with hair in your mouth and you have weiners that have to be spoiled and loved enough to sleep in the big bed with you and your main man... I've got 2 mini-schnauzers (they don't shed like the mini-doxie I had years ago and would like to have another again and how's that for a run on sentence...) and I wake up spitting out hairs still... I figure it's a part of loving life with those fur babies...
Thanks for the laughs
Helen G.
You are hilarious! I agree with so many of your pet peeves. I'm going to take the word verification off my blog now.
Oh and we say dude but only to our kids (I hope lol) cause one changed his name to "Cool Dude"!
Oh yeah and thanks for ruining Chicken Cordon Bleu for me! LOL And the acrosst thing is beyond me too I guess it must be a Maine thing cause I pick up on that stuff easy and lose sleep about it!
I agree with each and every one of these although I have never heard anyone say "acrosst." However I do hate it when people say "No worries" in response to something I said. Dude, I am not worried about you, don't care about you nor should you worry about giving me no worries. For some reason that phrase irks me so much more than "no problem."
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